Bryan Gubatan

Sitting here and thinking back as to how you have made my life so much better, I could never begin to tell you what your love means to me. You have shown me countless times how you care and how you believe in me, how you have given me the strength to give up something that has had a hold of my life for a very long time, without you I don't think I could be following my dreams, much less having someone like you standing beside me.

I know I tell you all the time how amazing you are. There is nothing I believe you can't do. The way you make me feel is like nothing I've ever felt before. I know I'm a very impatient person and I'm trying like hell to do the right thing, but the more time I spend with you and the more time we talk and do things together makes me realize that this is our life's plan, this is how our path of forever is suppose to happen, and sometimes I know it's hard for us to deal with but in the end, we'll be stronger and able to handle just about anything that comes our way ... we got through the hard part, Mahal, now all we have is the downhill side.

You have brought out a part in me that I put away a long time ago and thought I'd never be able to find again. You make everything so simple and easy for me to let go and with you in my life I don't need to hide that part of me anymore. What you make me feel for you is nothing short of the ultimate happiness. You are in my thoughts, my dreams, my desires, but most of all my heart! Thank you for being so patient with me, for loving me.......

I love you now and always, today, tomorrow, and forever!


Mharj ♥

latest pic

SINGLE But Happy

It's been a year now since my last breakup, and I haven't accepted a single drink from a man, nor have I responded to anyone asking me out. That's a new record for me.

If it were a couple years back, I probably would've been tearing my eyebrows out by now, wondering what the hell was wrong with me. I'm out of cheese! God help me!

I'm single because:

• I still have streak relationship of dependence.This was extremely hard to admit, let alone blog about, but I'm sure that a lot of women (and men) can relate to this. Looking back, I depended almost entirely on the relationship - and my partner - for my overall happiness. I blogged about it briefly, so to make a long story short, you can never be fully prepared to enter a loving and stable relationship without being able to create your own happiness, without the help of anyone else.
• I depend on my partner on self-validation. Here we go again: dependence. If that word shows up quite often in your daily relationship reflections or assessments, you probably need more time to be by yourself. Sometimes it's hugely apparent, sometimes it comes in the form of leading questions or even deception, but when you find yourself seeking approval from your partner, asking him/her constantly if he/she loves you - as I did - then you're probably not ready to be in a relationship.
• I'm busy. A relationship is hard work. It requires a kind of commitment not everyone fully understands. Of course you can be busy and be in a successful relationship, but at this point in my life where I'm busy trying to make something of myself before I turn 30 (which is in a mere three years), busy moving from one place to the next, busy trying to find my place in this world (quite literally), I can't afford the kind of commitment a long, lasting relationship requires. To me, a relationship right now, dare I say it, isn't just a liability - it's a distraction.
• I don't appreciate myself fully just yet. I think the most important thing about establishing a lifelong relationship isn't just trust in each other, as most relationship experts would argue; it's trust in yourself. I don't completely trust myself just yet. I'm not complete, for lack of a better term, because I'm in the middle of filling in the holes in my life that no man could ever fill... oh God, that sounded so wrong! But before I distract you even further with unintentional innuendos, I will not be able to fully appreciate and trust my partner - which is what every partner deserves - until I'm able to fully appreciate and trust myself. And that won't happen until I'm able to achieve everything that I need to achieve, and want to achieve.
• I realized that there's a shitload of time for that, and that i can be patient.I am patient. when I'm still working in Dubai, I met successful 40-something women who got married in their late thirties. In fact, one of them just gave birth (yes, in her forties), and another one just got engaged. And they were genuinely happy. I asked them what their secret was, and they all said "overcome your fear of time." Use your twenties idealistic and focus on fulfilling your dreams and building a career, no matter how long it takes. And once you've established yourself, don't settle with a husband just yet! Rather, enjoy the career and name you just made for yourself - know what it's like to buy your own house, your own car, pay off your own debts, etc. Once you've truly, utterly enjoyed yourself and your successes, more often than not, a man (or woman) who's just as equally successful and fulfilled, will come into your life. If not, if you're meant to be single for the rest of your life, at least you know how fulfilling it can still be.

I guess, in the end, it's all about finding ways to be settled, not with someone, but with yourself. Because truly, you're the only person who can make you feel settled.

THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE

God put people in your life for a reason Some for a while and some for a season But with you I know it’s for a lifetime Because your friendship and love is hard to find You never judge or look down on me And you see things in me I would never see And that’s the way a friendship is suppose to be I say my prayers and thank him for you Because without you I don’t know what I’d do I know you be tired and you have your own life But you’re still there for me without malice or strife You’re my strength when I can’t take it anymore all I have to do is knock on your door You’ll stop whatever your doing to see about me And what you some people would charge a fee I want to let you know That I really appreciate you And to let you know that I love you too But most of all it’s just my way of saying THANK YOU

WHY ;'(

....
I remember the old days
I remember the good days fill with memories of you and me
The days we kissed
The days we hugged
The days we did everything together
It was all good so lovely as you can see

We were meant to be, just you and me
Until she came into the picture
She took you away
and left me all by myself in my lonely dark corner
I was crushed into pieces

And now as i sit and think to myself of the memories of you and me
It hurts deep within my heart
I remember when you would always say "I love you" and meant it
It gave my heart joy

But it was all a fake lie
because
You left me for her